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Amazon Reviews of: Win Your Child Custody War

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Win Your Child Custody War
(Child Custody Help SourceBook)

If you are dealing with a civilized person who's primary interest is working with you to make sure your child is safe and happy. You do not need this manual. But, if you are dealing with a chameleon who has the ability to fool everyone, and will do and say anything to control and hurt you and your child this is the manual you need. Take the normal "he said" "she said" out of the mix. Prove that lies are how this person communicates and that your child's best interest is not even a concern for the other parent. Know how to handle what is happening now, and how to prepare to stop the next dirty trick or document it for court later. Do not be manipulated any longer. Countless resources and successful strategies from hundreds of successful child custody battles. Information from this all-encompassing tome ranging from proving perjury to court costs, this compendium of essential information is the definitive how-to book for winning your child custody war. It's an in-depth and detailed analysis of everything you need to know in order to ensure success during the most important battle of your life.

When the first edition of this book hit the market in 1992, there were only 2 books that even mentioned child custody. They were about divorce and both were written by male attorneys explaining in less than a paragraph, how to use your children in order to pay less child support and alimony. Those books were written for people who wanted to free themselves from current family commitments so they could move on.

Win Your Child Custody War was written for people who truly love their children and insist on being part of the children's lives.

Once you have had enough of what you are getting now... get this book.

 

Customer Reviews for Editions 1994 thru 2004

Avg. Customer Review:


Great book--except some information regarding investigators!, October 9, 2004
 
Reviewer: Grace E. Castle "Editor, Cluesonline" (Eugene, OR)
If you've never been involved in a child custody case, you may be offended by the cover of this book. If you have been, the baby boy in a U.S. Marine uniform won't seem unusual at all. The children in this nation that so prides itself on "freedom" are daily battered, psychologically abused, and sometimes killed, while their parents struggle to gain custody---to win the war. All too often the rights of the children to emotional, physical and psychological stability---not to mention LOVE---are overlooked, forgotten, or just plain ignored as each side positions themselves to win custody.

Whether you are a parent, grandparent, older sibling---or a retained investigator---you'll find useful guidance in this book. It contains so much information that some chapters are almost overkill. Let me say right up front-if you're engaged in a child custody battle, or you suspect you might be soon, GET THIS BOOK!

As a former professional investigator and current editor/publisher of Cluesonline, a monthly e-mail newsletter for professional investigators, I am concerned about the problems I found in some chapters relative to investigation.

I'll be honest---although I have never before written a book review without having read the entire book, this time I'm making an exception. I don't have the time to devote to reading the massive amount of information, nor do I need to at this moment. However, I have read enough of it to wish I had had a copy in earlier years. If I was working a child custody case now---I would read every word and insist that everyone involved in the case do the same, if they were capable. Some clients aren't capable, of course, and that makes it even more important that the attorney and investigator be educated.

Though this book is designed primarily for the parents involved in a custody battle, there is ample information for a seasoned investigator to review or a novice to carefully study. There are pages describing e-mail evidence, chain of evidence requirements and applicable case law, and spoliation of evidence details. Especially important are the detailed explanations of why the person seeking custody should NOT be the one gathering evidence. The following is a brief example of what the author has stated:

"Even if you do manage to observe a problem and even if you do manage to conduct an immediate, proper and thorough scene investigation---including preserving the scene, taking dozens of overall and close-up photographs, making a detailed sketch, casting, collecting, vacuuming, scraping, marking and preserving, it won't do you the least bit of good.
"Why? Because you are an advocate...." (Page 155)

There is an entire chapter entitled, "Detectives" which of course turns out to be about professional investigators. The author interchanges "detective" and "private investigator" and "investigator" so often it becomes confusing. Though PIs are called detectives in some states, the author should choose one descriptor to avoid confusion.

I read this chapter very carefully. Some of the author's advice is right on and useful. Some of it made me grit my teeth! She instructs to "make sure your detective is licensed and, above all, very street smart," but then on another page gives the unwise advice: "Pay the investigator directly, as some attorneys add a mark-up to defray the cost of paying the detective while still waiting for payment from you. Also, tell the investigator that you intend to maintain control over the costs and information developed." I assumed from those comments that Ms. Hardwick didn't know that most states don't extend attorney-client privilege to investigators who are hired directly by the client. Then, several pages further I found her somewhat confusing admonitions. From the initial statement under "Confidentiality-Detective":

"The relationship between a detective and a client is confidential between you and a reputable detective, but there is no confidentiality protected by the law."

to

"Instruct the detective to send everything directly to you and not maintain an in-house file on your case"

I found her instructions and comments to be completely outside the norm for how a custody investigation should be handled. It is my hope that she seeks assistance in cleaning up the "detective chapter" before the next edition is published.

It also bothers me that she used "he" and "him" throughout the chapter, but since it is consistent with the rest of the book, I'll assume that she is aware that some of the best domestic case investigators are female.

This chapter is heavy on how to govern your investigator, complete with sample forms for evaluating, retaining, and making assignments to him, as well as pages and pages of sample reports. I didn't find anything related to doing this through an attorney, but of course she isn't recommending hiring an investigator through the attorney---only getting a referral from one. It is good, though, that she warns against hiring "snakes," explaining that unethical investigators aren't willing to break the law "because they think you are such a wonderful person with a worthwhile mission that they will do these things only this time to help you; it is because they are this way all the time."

I was happy to see that Hardwick instructs her readers to "Pay your investigator's fees on time"! To her credit she also provides explicit information on the importance of not having sex with your detective-no matter who tries to initiate it. There is also information on where to file a complaint against an investigator who has treated the client unfairly.

In a section entitled, "Are You Are Being Watched?" the author uses the great example of the 2003 Texas case of Clara Harris deliberately running down her philandering husband to prove a point that "Just as their (other side) detective can't catch you misbehaving if you are behaving correctly; your own detective can't hide evidence of you behaving badly." In the Harris case, Blue Moon Investigations had to turn over a videotape of their client repeatedly running over her mate.

In her publicity materials the author states, "Everyone tells you what you can't do. This manual gives hundreds of options to let you see what you can do." I agree!
 

This book is quite a resource!, April 1, 2004
 
Reviewer: Kurt A. Johnson (Marseilles, Illinois, USA) TOP 50 REVIEWER
This large and information-packed book is the secret weapon needed by anyone who is presently or might soon be involved in child custody proceedings. This book is *NOT* a set of battle plans, telling you how to beat down the other side, but is instead a clear-eyed look at what you should do and how, for the best of yourself and the child. It covers everything from simple conflict resolution to selecting an attorney, collecting and documenting pertinent information, court, costs, child support, and crisis situations. Basically, this book is an encyclopedic set of information, covering everything you might need to know, allowing you to be prepared for anything that might come up.

This book is quite a resource! If you or anyone you know is soon to be involved in a child custody situation, then the best thing that you can do is buy this book. It is good to be prepared, and this book is just the preparation needed.


Best custody book on the market, period, September 16, 2003
 
Reviewer: "sparc_admin" (Seattle, WA USA)
The "Win Your Child Custody War" book is the best, most comprehensive book on the market. I'm a reviewer for SPARC, a divorce and custody web site (www.deltabravo.net) and we recommend the "Win Your Child Custody War" book before all the others. There's no secret to why we recommend this book so strongly- it's just the best guide to custody issues available anywhere at any price.

The breadth and depth of the information is astounding, well-written, and logically arranged. This book is worth 10 times the cover price, and I don't say that lightly.

There is nothing like the "Win Your Child Custody War" book; nothing even comes close. This is, in our opinion, *<b>the</b>* book to have. You'd have to buy about 20 other books just to start to equal the information contained in this one.

(And just in case you're wondering, we have no connection to Pale Horse Publishing, we just think their books stand head-and-shoulders above the rest.)


An excellent battle resource from someone who's been there, August 11, 2003
 
Reviewer: Michael Davis (Phoenix, AZ United States)
Charlotte has produced an excellent and thorough work on the subject of child custody battles. And she speaks from experience; she has been in the trenches, having done battle herself. An enormous amount of research has gone into this book, based largely on personal experience. This is clearly evident. This invaluable resource is available to all, a work no one should be without in a child custody battle. I work in the legal industry as an investigator and former law enforcement officer and have had the privilege of working with Charlotte. She is an intelligent, sincere and tough-minded, down-to-earth person who cares about others' custody cases. Don't go to court without using her book!
 
I Used This Book To Win!, April 22, 2003
 
Reviewer: Jay Faber (Le Mars, IA United States)
I am a custodial father who endured a prolonged campaign. Horrible legal advice and strong gender bias plagued my initial effort in 1993. I made many of the mistakes common to parents in these situations and paid dearly.

Later, as our case progressed, I was fortunate enough to discover the manual entitled `Win Your Child Custody War'. These pearls of wisdom are a treasure trove of the information, advice, and warnings that everyone engaged in this war needs. I only wish I had found this gem when the battle began! The result of this discovery was winning custody of our then 10-year-old son.

This resource is bulging with common sense strategy. From the preferable negotiated settlement to the Desert Storm attack, a wealth of useful tips is readily available for you to implement immediately. In the appendices are your sources for an abundance of intelligence, including a tutorial on how to read legal documents. I even offer it on my website, WinningChildCustody.com, where I provide information to other parents involved in US and international child custody disputes. This brilliant work definitely made all the difference in my case and it can in yours as well!


10 star value for usable information, April 9, 2003
 
Reviewer: Beth Hartford-DeRoos "motherlodebeth" (Jackson, California)  TOP 100 REVIEWER
This is by far the most complete and well written book on custody issues and the copy I have will be given to the local library as a reference book because I think it is a must read for anyone going through a custody fight. Thankfully I am still married thirty-five plus years and have never had to deal with the issue, but have helped a number of men gain custody of their children.

If there is one thing I do not like about the book it would be the cover photograph where the little boy appears to be dressed as a small U S marine. Having family in the military and in a real life and death war, I think a photograph of a variety of children from different ethnic backgrounds would have made a better cover.
 
6 Stars out of 5 ... Just Do It!, March 19, 2003
Reviewer: A reader
Great resource, Interesting reading, Much more than I had hoped for. Don't let it overwhelm you. Use the Table of Contents and Index and take it one step at a time. The best money I spent on my custody case was on this book. Powerful, wonderful, enlightening. I highly recommended this book.
 
Divorce and Custody- Do it Right for Your Children!, March 7, 2003
 
Reviewer: Claire Sutherland (Greenville, NC
I bought Win Your Child Custody Battle. In the first chapter the reader cannot help but shift their thinking to "what is best for my children?" This book does a masterful job of steering a divorcing parent through the custody war, and showing that parent how to WIN! While making sure their children WIN! too.

What makes this book better than the others is:
1. It teaches you how to win so that your children ultimately have what they need
2. It teaches you how to win so that the other parent is not killed in the war, you learn how to use anger constructively!
3. It does not favor either parent, like books just for Moms or Dads
4. Both parents could use the information in the same custody battle and do the best job for their children!
It is the best, most complete book on the subject I've ever seen.


I have them all., February 15, 2003

Reviewer: "dadof4sons" (Modesto, CA United States)
Read a review of 'Win' in the Modesto Bee several years ago. I remember because I cut it out for the shop steward at work. Then things went to #&%@ around here and I saw a battered copy of 'Win' two months ago at a Father's for Equal Rights meeting. The guy who had it used a hi-lighter so much I thought the pages were supposed to be yellow. Tried to buy his but he wouldn't give it up. This edition looks to have twice the information his 99 edition. When the smoke clears around here I'll take the time to read it from cover to cover. For now I use the index and a blue hi-lighter. My marriage status may be changing but my parental status is going to stay the same. I am a good dad.
I have every one of the custody books www.Amazon.com could get for me. 'Win' is the most complete. Highly Recommended!
 
A singular achievement and an amazing resource, January 24, 2003
 
Reviewer: Dennis Littrell (SoCal)  TOP 50 REVIEWER
Charlotte Hardwick's use of the military metaphor throughout (including a photo of a child in a Marine Corps dress uniform on the cover) is in recognition of two salient facts about custody disputes: they can be psychologically as brutal as war; and the stakes can be extremely high. Yet, as Hardwick details and documents, negotiations are possible, and if the welfare of the child has the highest priority, both sides can win.

I would advise you, however, NOT to go into court without having first read this remarkable book. Over the course of 672 doubled-columned pages, Hardwick shares her personal experience and her painfully accumulated knowledge on just about every conceivable aspect of the child custody wars while guiding the reader toward a powerful strategy. If you don't have this book you are likely to be overmatched; indeed if your attorney doesn't have this book, he or she is likely to be overmatched. In fact, I would say that the first thing you should do after reading the book yourself, is buy a copy for your attorney and somehow persuade him or her to open the pages and to start reading--anywhere in the book. I promise you your attorney will learn facts, ideas, strategies new to him or her. The expanse and depth of the material presented here quite frankly amazed me. This extensive tome constitutes an entire course not only in child custody disputes but in human psychology, parenting, and the law itself. Some items:

There are 91 pages citing, summarizing, quoting from, and referencing relevant cases and decisions (Chapter 23).

There is a detailed guide on how to negotiate and what conflict resolution is all about (Chapter 4); a chapter on how to handle discovery and depositions (Chapter 17); another on judges, what to expect from them and how you might get a good one or avoid a bad one; there's guidance on what to expect in court and how to present yourself and your case; how to select an attorney; what your case is likely to cost and how to discover the assets of your adversaries, including (this floored me) hidden assets such as "Overpayments to the IRS" (from a list on page 435). You will learn about how much you can expect to pay or receive in child support, and again how to gauge assets, including hidden income such as "excessive deductions on paychecks" (p. 445)--a nice dodge which amounts to loaning Uncle Sam the money until tax time!

You will also:

--Discover how to handle psychologists and other "evaluators" and influence them to your advantage. For example beware of the "halo effect." (Have your side evaluated by the psychologist first to secure that effect.) (p. 235)

--Understand what psychological tests can be given and what they can mean in the dispute. Sometimes the judge makes the court-ordered decision of a professional binding, so that "you have in fact a new judge." (Chapter 12)

--Appreciate the role of other experts, what they can and cannot do to further your case, and how to evaluate and get a reliable expert who will make an effective witness.

--Learn the value of keeping a detailed log of everything pertaining to your case and its possible use as documentation. Hardwick presents this with some tips on how e-mail and computer files can come back to haunt you if you share the wrong information, even anonymously or through the assumption of an Internet moniker.

--Become knowledgeable about lie detectors and their use and misuse (pp. 137-138) and the reach of DNA testing.

--Know which problems or accusations are issues and which are non-issues in the eyes of the law. For example, child endangerment is an issue; a "blended" family is not. Physical abuse is an issue; false accusations may or may not be. (pp. 26-29)

--Be introduced to the infamous Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) in which one parent tries to alienate the child from the other parent through lies and distortions. (p. 190) PAS includes "The Grand Lie" in which one side falsely accuses the other of child sexual abuse, a charge that is hard to become completely free of, regardless of the truth of the accusation. (p. 282)

Hardwick even includes some humor with eleven ways on how to know "You've Been in Court Too Long" on page 97 (from Dean Hughson). If this isn't enough there is a presentation of ingrained psychological strategies that you might use or encounter such as the famous "Tit for Tat" from game theory or the sneaky "Tranquilizer" who lulls you to inattention and then takes advantage. (p. 59)

There is a Glossary of Terms and a detailed Index as well as a lot information on resources throughout including Internet sites on page 103. There's even a chapter on lies and how to correct them (should you be the liar!).

The mass of information and the sharp, sound guidance contained herein really amount to a post graduate course in child custody disputes. Even so I was almost as much impressed with Hardwick's assertive, no-nonsense writing style and organization that managed to painlessly inform while emphasizing a positive approach. Her philosophy is perhaps best expressed in this quote from page 472:

"In truth, if custody is solely decided on what is best for the children, there can be no loser."


Did the reviewer from MN buy the same book I did?, January 5, 2003
Reviewer: A reader
I bought this book after reading the great reviews here on Amazon. When it arrived four days later I was blown away. I won't be spending so much time on the penalty bench. (I now see some of the problems I was causing myself.) No more "AAA' behavior or attitudes. Child custody pulls you into the majors. This book has so much information and so much I can do. I wanted to post a review before I got past the first chapter, but couldn't put it down. Interesting and instructive. I may have to start a business brokering this book because everyone who looks at it wants it.

I don't know which book the reviewer (sounded like a woman) from MN read, I found no random, mindless, essays. I found what all the other reviewers (including the Amazon reviewers) found on target, powerful options that I could adjust to meet many situations.

It sounds like she bought the book in the last inning of her fight and didn't have enough time to score any points. Even if you don't have much going for you this book will get you some home runs. But you need some time to put together a team, make a game plan and get on the field on time.

Don't just buy it. Use it.


Midnight Companion, June 30, 2002
 
Reviewer: Patrick Devine (Carmella, CA)
I was doing ok (not great) during the day. Facing the [stuff] they threw at me was easier when mixed in with seeing my kids, my job and all my other responsibilities. Nights were long, painful and left me exhausted. If I was finally able get to sleep, I would wake up in a few hours in a panic or with their latest assault eating at my guts. It would be different if I could go into the kids rooms and see them sleeping safe in their beds. I never felt so helpless in my life. I am a good, no a great dad. I love my kids. I shouldn't have to be a part time dad. They need a full time dad. I think this book is going to help me show the judge who I am and how much I can contribute to their lives. I found this book on Amazon at 4a.m. one morning and felt better just having ordered it. It arrived in 5 five days. It has helped so much that I can get to sleep. On the rare occasion that I do wake up worried, "Win Your Child Custody War" is my Midnight Companion and I can always find something to calm me by giving me a plan of action for the next day. The examples of what other guys have faced and how they handled themselves are valuable. Seeing the results (good and bad) of the actions I would have taken has given me a real heads-up. I don't feel helpless any more. I think this is the next best thing to having a great lawyer in your pocket 24/7. Borrow, steal or buy a copy.
 
Worth Every Dollar, June 8, 2002
Reviewer: A reader
They say this book is updated more often than any other on the market. Now that I have it I believe it. My attorney said she is impressed enough with it that she is going to order one for herself. It isn't the cheapest book out there but I have spent so much that another 80 bucks just didn't matter. My children matter. It all boils down to that doesn't it.
I thought I had it bad because I live in a big city and couldn't find anyone who would take an interest in what I was facing. At a father's rights meeting I met a guy from a small town. His ex-wife's family has so much influence he couldn't get a local attorney to take his case. Then the small town court treats the out of town attorneys like interlopers. When he saw my book he took some notes and then ordered one. I keep in tough with him and we compare notes on our cases and what we are learning about from the Win Your Child Custody War book. I am thinking of starting a men's study group for child custody. I think this book is a Great Buy!
 
Great Book, April 23, 2002
 
Reviewer: Jim Candy (Arlington, VA)
This is a great book. Truly the top of the line if you are facing the battle I am. I read, plan, do and re-read. I get more out of it each time. If you think you need help... you have just found it.
 
The Amazon.com reviewers are right!, April 11, 2002
Reviewer: Jodi Lincon (Firebird Lake, AZ)
I have purchased over a dozen child custody books from Amazon.com and I always read the reviews. I am especially interested in the reviews by the top 100 reviewers. Sometimes they are off base. Not this time. They really nailed the value of this book. I wish I had bought this book first. I would have handled many of the problems differently and would have gotten a lot farther along in my case if I had. I highly recommend this book to women even though I think it may have been written primarily for men.
 
An incredible resource -- Very highly recommended, December 31, 2001
 
Reviewer: C. Penn "WordWeaving" (Greenville, SC)  TOP 50 REVIEWER
Choosing to give my ex-husband custody of our very young children was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made. Later battles for visitation rights and custody have been the most painful events of my life. I have endured restraining orders based on lies, long distance visitation, and the psychological devastation of being separated from my children. My case went to the worst of extremes when my lawyer resigned my case in order to testify on my behalf in court. Because of the injustice of the handling of the restraining order, my case was used as the example that changed a school's non-custodial parent pickup policy. Along the way, I made many of the mistakes common to parents in my situation and learned many lessons the hard way. I wish I had WIN YOUR CHILD CUSTODY WAR when I began those battles; the information, advice and warnings would have made the battle far easier.

WIN YOUR CHILD CUSTODY WAR provides the legal details and information an informed parent needs before and after hiring a lawyer, detective, or even a psychologist. WIN YOUR CHILD CUSTODY WAR sets realistic expectations, includes straight talk with no mollycoddling, and lots of sound advice. Logs, affidavits, and home studies are covered with meticulous detail and with sound examples. As the author cautions, however, readers also need to follow the advice of their lawyer over the book. For example, in the extreme case of a parent who does not want to visit the child and would stop harassment if not required to pay child support, the author suggests: "You could get counseling, legal assistance or return the money the court sends you each month from the other parent." I know from personal experience that you could return the parent's money in the state of AR. In the state of GA, the money isn't yours, it belongs to your children, and you are required by law to accept the money, just as the non-custodial parent is required by law to pay. No exceptions.

Encouragement and common sense are also included in the WIN YOUR CHILD CUSTODY WAR. Some battles are better walked away from, especially when the battle becomes a matter of winning and not necessarily in the child's best interest. WIN YOUR CHILD CUSTODY WAR forces readers to carefully examine their own motives, behaviors and attitudes. It also warns of the pitfalls many parents fall into, and provides tips for how to avoid them. As I turned the pages, revisiting my own battles, challenges and mistakes, I couldn't help thinking of the emotional pain this book could have saved me. Simple things like plan an activity for when you return the children to their custodial parent would have been useful advice from the beginning of my battle. In addition, WIN YOUR CHILD CUSTODY WAR is very sensitive to the issues non-custodial mothers face, especially considering the harsh judgment society places on women without custody.

This is the most personal review I have ever written, but given the nature of the book, I feel compelled to offer personal confirmation of the value of WIN YOUR CHILD CUSTODY WAR. Surprisingly, I also found a lot of self-forgiveness as I read this book. As I revisited old wounds and previously second-guessed decisions, I found confirmation of my own good decision-making, giving the book a remarkably positive spin for this battle weary, but successful warrior. Very highly recommended.
 


Child Custody Worst Case Scenarios, November 21, 2001

Reviewer: Katie Picks (City of Industry, CA)
Amazon.com is great! I ordered the 2000 edition of the Win Your Child Custody War book and Amazon sent me the 2002 edition. Besides the good service the product is exceptional.

I don't face more than three of the challenges discussed in this book but I wanted to know everything that could happen. This book could have been called "A Compendium of Worst Case Scenarios in Child Custody Litigation".

Initially I was interested in the psychological and home study evaluation examples. As my case has progressed I have found additional help in the book for several situations. The most remarkable change has been in how the discussion of how my soon to be ex husband and I have stopped demanding our rights and now discuss our responsibilities to our children. He saw the change in my attitude and what I had to say and has finally started to follow suit.

This book gave me the ability to build a strong case which diminished the fears I had for my children and myself. I stopped feeling and acting like a victim. I can't make him be the kind of husband I wanted him to be but I can help him be the kind of father his children need him to be. The removal of fear has allowed me to speak my mind clearly and listen without becoming emotional.

If you can't figure out what to do next, buy this book.
 


Cautionary Directions for World War III-Type Combat, November 12, 2001

Reviewer: Donald Mitchell "speaker, author and change consultant -- see www.fastforward400.com"  TOP 10 REVIEWER (a happy Red Sox and Patriots fan in Boston)
If you have an unusual child custody case (such as you want to get sole custody of a child your husband fathered out of wedlock while married to you), can afford to spend $100,000 on the case, are willing to devote all of your attention to winning, and want to know as much as possible about how to decide what to do, Win Your Child Custody War is the right book for you.

If you think that using the courts to get a better custody deal is an easy, simple, inexpensive path, this is also the right book for you. It will hopefully present you with the reality of what you will go through and encourage you to seek a simpler solution.

Child custody battles are usually about the emotions of the adults, and reflect the child's interest as an excuse to "punish" the other adult. In chapter 13, there's some helpful material about how to minimize the negative impact on children during divorces and changing custody relationships.

Most women going through a divorce of separation hit some situation that scares them almost to death (such as you go to pick up your child, and find an empty house with all the furniture removed). These issues are dealt with very well in chapter 15.

Chapter 16 does a fine job with how to deal with various kinds of child abuse, false allegations of child abuse, and actual cases of kidnapping.

The author has been through much of this, so you're dealing with someone who knows the ropes. However, remember that this is a resource guide. The chances are very good that you will never come up against 95 percent of what is described here. Also, you don't really have to know the roles of the various courts (up to the Supreme Court) as they are outlined here.

Ms. Hardwick consistently encourages you to settle peaceably and quickly, whenever possible. That's good advice. This book would have been a lot more valuable, however, if it had dealt with custody issues from the perspective of what most people will go through rather than the relative few who will face drug-dealing, fly-by-night, ex-cons during the custody battle. If your former spouse or lover is a person of good character and has moral habits, you will eventually settle this issue by having the two of you sit down without any lawyers around and calmly talk it over. Many people don't want to do that, and create lots of problems for their children while wasting tens of thousands of dollars in the process that are badly needed for some other purpose.

Although this book will teach you how to run a very effective child custody law suit, my advice is to avoid doing that if at all possible.

Think of the children's interests first, second, and third . . . even when you are looking out for their interests!


everything you could ever think of, October 30, 2001

Reviewer: M. H. Bayliss "book queen"
TOP 500 REVIEWER
I was amazed at first that this book was written by a non-professional, but after reading it, I can see that the author went through much of this stuff personally and learned a great deal. Lawyers only tell you so much, but this book examines the issues from various sides. It is VERY comprehensive. You can read it cover to cover (it's very absorbing) or use the excellent indices to find almost any topic you need to know. Some of the material (like the detective reports) is fascinating. There is a ton of helpful advice. The only problem with the book is that it's SO big that it can seem overwhelming until you realize that you don't have to read everything, just what's relevant. I like the fact that the author emphasizes that you should do everything NOT to fight in order to protect your kids. Many feel a custody battle is about who wins and who loses, but the biggest losers tend to be the children.
 

I was ready to do court like on TV. WRONG, August 18, 2001

Reviewer: Allan Picard (Atlanta GA)
Everything I knew about family court, I learned from television. It didn't take me long to see that the prevailing mythology I had accepted had me going in the wrong direction. Win Your Child Custody War offers options that helped me deal with the conflicts in a way that had real meaning to me and gave me the knowledge and skills to help me achieve my goals within the limits of my budget and resources. My sons are counting on me. I wanted and needed the best help available, this is it.
 

My attorney told me to buy this book!, August 18, 2001
Reviewer: Donald Goldman (Ann Arbor, MI) - See all my reviews
When my attorney told me to buy this book I thought he was abandoning me. I was wrong. Win Your Child Custody War helped me explore the parts of my personality that were charged with emotion every time I had to deal with my ex-wife. I learned the predictability and intricacies of the "dance" she had always suckered me into. Specific techniques and practical strategies that applied directly to my case were easy to employ. It is great to have a product that meets my needs at each level of my challenge. Buy this book and hope the otherside doesn't know it exists.


I liked seeing the real thing., August 18, 2001
Reviewer: Brook Able (Scottsdale, AZ.) - See all my reviews
A friend recommend the Win Your Child Custody War manual to help me prepare for psychological and home evaluations. I was very skeptical that one book could cover so much information in such detail. Seeing the 10 home studies and psychological evaluations removed a lot of the "fear of the unknown." I have actually enjoyed much of the reading and many of the examples. The 7 detective reports are amazing. Even if I wasn't so emotionally involved I think I could recommend this book as just good reading.


Clearly worth the money, February 10, 2000
Reviewer: stevensa (nyc)
Has many common sense things. Gives good advice and ideas. I've read numerous other books, but this one is best. Teaches taking the high road. Is good for both men and women.
Has sample forms you should fill out and a reference section that is unsurpassed. written by non-professionals who have gone through it. Faster delivery is from their own website.
 


For those involved in such a dispute, sound guidance, March 31, 2002
 
Reviewer: Robert Morris (Dallas, Texas) TOP 10 REVIEWER
At the outset, I wish to say that I am personally offended by the illustration on this book's cover of a child dressed as a U.S. Marine. That said, I realize that for many involved in a child custody dispute, it may seem like a "war" to them. Charlotte Hardwick offers to them an abundance of practical advice as to how to formulate and then implement strategies which will help them to achieve their objectives. Almost daily it seems, the media inform us of violence which results in the deaths of estranged or divorced parents; worse yet, the deaths of their children. These are indeed tragedies. Less publicized (if at all) are child custody disputes in which one parent is better prepared than the other for obtain a court ruling favorable to her or him. (Many of murder/suicides occur after such a court ruling, despite a restraining order and other prudent precautions.) I highly recommend this book to any parent who either anticipates a child custody dispute or has become involved in one; also to grandparents and other relatives of the principals involved in such a dispute; also, to others who could become involved, such as clergy, law enforcement officials, social workers, school administrators, teachers, coaches, and even attorneys who do not specialize in child custody law. One of the greatest values of this book is that it identifies what seem to be all of the options to consider. Another is that Hardwick helps her reader to sort through those options in order to select those which are most appropriate. Once such selection has been made, Hardwick then answers the inevitable question "What now?" To the best of my knowledge, there is no other single volume which offers anywhere near as much information nor one which presents its often complicated material as clearly.

We have a large family and, thus far, have had no personal experience with a child custody case. However, over the years, several friends of our family have found themselves involved in one. Other than taking the obvious step of obtaining legal counsel, they really had no idea what to do...and not do. Hardwick wrote this book for them as well as for all others who are ill-prepared and emotionally preoccupied. Not all child custody disputes resemble "war" but all of them do have profoundly serious implications and consequences. Hence the incalculable value of Hardwick's assistance when attempting to know what they are, to understand them, and then to proceed.


My Friend Was Terrified!!, August 24, 1999
Reviewer: A reader
The book arrived! My friend was very happy to receive it.

Unbeknownst to me, she had found this book on the internet and was absolutely terrified that her ex would have access to such knowledge whereas she couldn't afford it at the time.

I didn't find this out until after she received the book and realized what I'd sent her. She is ecstatic and going through it voraciously. She is very excited to have all of this information at her fingertips and feels empowered; after all, knowledge is power.

We are very happy the book arrived and I'm sure it will be put to very good use!! Thanks again!


Too Much Information, Is Just Right!, August 5, 1999
Reviewer: A reader
Every attorney I talked to sent me away. I didn't understand why. One woman told me to get my issues sorted out and get an education about what was really going on. I went to Dad's Against Discrimination meeting and the guy sitting next to me had a copy of Win Your Child Custody War. It was three years old, tattered, marked on and very well used. I tried to buy it from him but he wouldn't part with it. I found it here on Amazon. The one you sent me was twice as big as his. At first I was overwhelmed. Then I was grateful. After reading Win, I was able to sort things out and with a great attorney I have temporary custody that will assure a safe future for my sons. When it comes to the information in this book, too much is never enough.


I want this book, July 21, 1999
 
Reviewer: CJONES8676@AOL.COM (Grapevine. TX)
I have tried to find this book but it is out of print can anyone help me? CJONES@AOL.COM
Win Your Child Custody War has been nearly as fabulous as w, July 11, 1999
Reviewer: A reader
The big book (Win Your Child Custody War) has been nearly as fabulous as we had hoped. I won't repeat all the comments that other folks have made about how comprehensive it is, or how accurate it is, etc. Most of those comments are true, in spades. I will cheerfully read on, fill in the forms, and continue to wage an ever-stronger war! July 9,999
 
To hell with justice, she wanted revenge!, April 21, 1999
Reviewer: A reader
We tried working things out. We bought the relation ship tapes, we gave it time and space, and went to counseling, but it wasn't getting any better. Because I can't be the husband she wants, she wants to make sure I can't be the father I want to be. I bought the PAS books. My attorney said our judge was tired of hearing about Parent Alienation Syndrome, because it's just the accusation of the month. I bought the 1 1/2 hour, win custody tape. My problems aren't that simple. A co-worker at GE Electronics loaned me his copy of Win Your Child Custody War and I ordered mine the same day. As new problems or questions arise, I find this encyclopedia of information rising to meet my needs. This manual is Outstanding, Powerful, Great.
 
My attorney told me to buy this book!, March 20, 1999
Reviewer: A reader
My attorney has given me a lot of good advice. Telling me to buy this book was the best. Before I got this book I thought the court and even my own attorney just weren't listening to my concerns. With my understanding of the real issues, I have stopped wasting my time on what the court considers, emotion driven non-issues. Now I understand the process and can be a real part of the team. Helping things along and getting better results is gratifying. I wish I had this book five months ago.
All the info you need to get organized, February 18, 1999
Reviewer: A reader
This is a great book if you need to build a winning child custody case or rework a losing one. 730+ pages, may seem far too long, but the book contains little repetition and has a huge index. The author warns against over reacting to False Allegations of Abuse, Parental Alienation Syndrome and Lies while giving you ideas on how to document the truth. Taking the issue from the 'he said - she said' category to hard evidence really makes a difference. The author says, you are not judged by what is done to you, but by how you respond to what is done to you. This is some powerful stuff. Lots of information, lots of examples, a fantastic reference guide. Hardwick has a relaxed, interesting style of writing. I do hope she keeps on producing more valuable information!
 
My book arrived six days after I ordered it!, February 18, 1999
Reviewer: A reader
Great book - easy to use and very informative. I have read enough of Win Your Child Custody War to know this is just what I needed. I should have had it ten months ago. I could have avoided a lot of problems. Information about cases that set precedent as recently as 1989 were very helpful. The first thing it did for me was put my case in prospective by showing me what others faced and overcame. I found the book to be surprisingly interesting. It's very unusual to find a topic that appears to be so horrible, such as a child custody case, brought to life in such a masterful way. It looks like this book was originally written for men. I am a Mother's Rights advocate and will use any good weapon to fight my battle. I recommend the book to anyone involved in this life altering challenge.
 

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